Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
