never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
