STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
