im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
