I want to stick my p in your. b.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize