Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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