haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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