we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize