he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize