Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
