You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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