my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I need a burrito and a hug.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
