On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
