i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
