You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
