last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i now understand why vodka
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize