Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
