I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
