I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
