he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
