im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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