Who did Billy Mays play for?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
