i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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