Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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