apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
