My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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