thus making me awesome and them whores
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
