a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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