if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
where are you?
Hypothermia
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
