OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
