Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize