I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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