I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize