Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
