your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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