I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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