dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
