I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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