i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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