Dude my mom stole all your condoms
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
this just has baby written all over it
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
