Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
