Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
