So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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