thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
