Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
