So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
