I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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