You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
