ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
