I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
sarcasm needs its own font
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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