Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
