I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's rum buckets o'clock
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
