Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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