listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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