I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
