I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
