Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
