You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
