Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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