no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
