I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
